kind of memories

 Lately, i just realized. How I miss the moments not the person. 

Jadi, beberapa hari yang lalu ada instastory dari seseorang yang tibatiba aja pop up kan tuh di story ig. Gak sengaja nya aku liat dan di story itu ada i dont know what to call him, friend? we're not. lover? we're not. just somebody that I used to know I guess. Udah lumayan lama dan butuh waktu buat nyelimurin diri sendiri biar ga toxic dengan selalu kebayang dan ngebayangin dia. Well, it's just a long story about him. 

dia tuh apa ya, dulunya temen sekarang orang asing aja. mungkin cuma aku yang ngerasa gini, karena kayaknya he's fine and live happily. but still somehow aku ngerasa ada sesuatu yang ngganjel aja dan kayak belum selesai. well, I'm not really sure. 

setelah liat dia di story itu, all I could think is "ouh, it's just always be there." u know what, all our story and moments that we've been thru all played on my mind without any permission before. 

I still remember the very first time he picked me up then we had the strolling around, 

talked about everything, 

the very first time we ate together,

the place and the jokes. 

the memories. just always be there. always. 

No matter how hard I try to deny it, it just always be there. 

aku juga baru sadar dengan fakta, meskipun kamu udah putus dan move on ke orang baru, a little part of your heart is belong to your ex. no doubt. no denial. Karena ya wajar aja ga sih, kayak dulu tuh pernah ada orang kamu jadiin tempat berbagi cerita dan u're growing as a person thru them jadi yaa meskipun udah ga bareng sama mereka lagi, tetep aja masih ada rasa itu and I think that's pretty normal as long as u can control it. Even tho, you've been moved on and lived happily. the memories just always stay there, aren't they? 

One thing, every time u're kinda miss of a person. it doesn't mean that u have to come back to that person again. cause it will never be the same. remember that u only miss the memories not the person. that's exactly what thing u need to know every time u think u need to comeback to your ex. I've learned it in the hard way and been thru a lot of things. now, here i am. I can say that it was all just an illusion. u are not really miss the person but memories. 

memories are beautiful to remember not to replay.